The Trouble With Princess Beatrice

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In many ways, Princess Beatrice of York, the older daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, is the current House of Windsor’s ultimate misfit. Unlike her little sister and most of her first cousins, she appears to be the only one among her generation of recently grown up British royals whose neither settled into a career, or at least found a niche for herself in public life. Of course, those readers of this blog in the know realize that a career of taxpayer funded public service isn’t an option, at least for now, for Her Royal Highness, given her uncle, the Prince of Wales’s, recent decision, which has received the blessing of the Queen, that both the current and future structure of the working Royal Family will exclude the York princesses. It’s long been rumored that their father was infuriated by this decision, and according to a recent Daily Mail article, his official website not only goes out of its way to emphasize Beatrice’s royal status, but also that she’s an independent, professional, career woman who, by implication, wouldn’t be a burden on her grandmother’s subjects if she were to become a working royal. This same article, published 10 April and entitled, HRH Holiday Addict: How ‘full- time businesswoman’ Beatrice, 26, had ELEVAN money-no-object holidays in under six months, goes over in detail why this argument is, to put it mildly, a hard sell. Her inability to commit herself to longterm employment, unfortunately, is rumored to be only one of several problems currently troubling the seventh in line to the British throne.

While it can’t be stated definitively that Prince Andrew and his ex-wife were bad parents, their various marital and personal problems were bound to negatively affect their two daughters in some manner while they were growing up. Certainly, Fergie made no secret to either Beatrice or Eugenie when they were little girls, and she was still married to their father, that there were other men in her life. When on vacation with her lovers, Fergie often took her daughters along with her. The infamous early ’90’s photos of a topless then Duchess of York getting her toes sucked by her lover, John Bryan, by the poolside of a Thailand resort while her daughters frolicked in the pool nearby told their own story. After their divorce in 1995, however, Andrew nonetheless entrusted the greater responsibility for their upbringing to their mother. While Sarah, Duchess of York certainly supervised their education affectively, with Beatrice not only overcoming an early diagnosis of dyslexia, but both her and Eugenie having been generally considered bright, successful students that both graduated with honors from their respective universities, it’s long been rumored that Fergie also attempted to instill within both her daughters, with the enabling encouragement of her ex-husband, a sense of royal entitlement and a belief that the world should roll out the red carpet for them simply because of their status at birth. While Princess Eugenie appears to have been intelligent and mature enough not to take this belief seriously, the same cannot be stated for her older sister.

Her half assed professional endeavors since graduating from college in 2011 speak for themselves. After having gone nearly a year without a proper job, but dabbling in a minuscule amount of charitable work, Princess Beatrice finally landed an entry level position within a City of London, that is a London based financial, firm. Perhaps owing to her learning disability, Her Royal Highness definitely didn’t take to the rudiments of the financial markets, and left the firm the next year. She then spent another year being comfortably unemployed until landing a gig as a paid intern with Sony. As of January this year, she’s resigned from that position, and has been unemployed ever since. It’s rumored that she’s recently been hired by a New York based financial services firm, and will shortly take up residence there with her longterm, American born boyfriend, Dave Clark, whose recently been hired for an executive position by the gypsy taxi app firm, Über. Her Royal Highness is no stranger to the Big Apple; her little sister’s been steadily employed there at an art gallery for the past couple of years. Before Beatrice resumes work, however, she might first want to get her vacation schedule under control.

As the afore mentioned Daily Mail article makes clear, Princess Beatrice is exceedingly fond of taking frequent expensive holidays, presumably financed by the largesse of her parents and wealthy friends. Within a 6 month period, from November of last year to this recent April, Beatrice racked up an impressive amount of frequent flyer miles jaunting between ski trips in Switzerland and Colorado to yachting excursions along the Caribbean and Mediterranean to escorting her father on a semi-official trip to the UAE that just so happened to coincide with their annual Grand Prix. She also stopped over in NYC to celebrate her sister’s bday. None of this would matter if, A: it didn’t bring back not so fond memories of her mother notoriously accepting as many freebies, including vacations, that she possibly could while still married to her father, and B: if the Duke of York wasn’t trying so hard to lobby behind the scenes for his daughters to be given tax payer financed, working roles within the Royal Family! Perhaps if Princess Beatrice were involved in a relationship with a steady, professionally upright young man with only the best intentions toward her, such behavior could be curtailed, if not dispensed with. According to rumor, unfortunately, the opposite appears to be the case.

Almost 8 years ago, Prince William introduced his cousin to a young Anglo-American from a wealthy, socially connected family named Dave Clark. They hit it off, and have been an item ever since. As implied in a recent Mail on Sunday article entitled, Would Wills Have Vetoed Bea’s Beau? Prince is ‘not a fan’ of Dave Clark-but she no longer needs royal approval after falling down line of succession, the Duke of Cambridge is rumored to have regretted that introduction ever since. The article states that Mr. Clark was not only cordially not invited to the Cambridge wedding, at the insistence of His Royal Highness, but that Prince William, according to an unnamed source, finds Dave ‘indiscreet’ and believes he’s exploiting Beatrice for as much publicity and career advancement as he can get out of her. There’s at least some substance to this accusation.

Until recently, Dave was an Astronaut Relations executive with Virgin Galactic, Richard Branson’s tourist space exploration off shoot of his Virgin Atlantic airline. It’s widely presumed that it was he who talked his royal girlfriend into reserving a much publicized seat on a future space exploration flight. Beatrice, however, changed her mind last November when a Virgin Galactic pilot on a test space flight in the Mojave Desert was killed. Dave, nonetheless, immediately granted an interview to the Daily Mail touting the safety standards of his company and boasting that Leonardo DiCaprio had just reserved a seat for the eventual space shuttle voyage. This level of exploitation, especially of a member of the Royal Family, appears to not be to Prince William’s liking. It’s long been whispered that he’s far more socially conservative behind closed doors than most realize, and between his parents, takes more after his at times reactionary father. He more than likely also isn’t thrilled at the rumor that Dave secretly proposed to Beatrice over New Year’s, she’s accepted, and they’re now privately planning to move to New York to start their married life together. Unfortunately for ‘Wills’ the recent birth of his daughter means that Princess Beatrice is too far down the line of succession to constitutionally require the Queen’s permission to marry, and she can plight her troth with whomever she pleases. Besides, Her Majesty is notoriously permissive when it comes to her descendants’ choices of a spouse. The only in-law she ever genuinely vetted was the late Diana, Princess of Wales, and clearly she didn’t do a very good job of that! Andrew and Fergie, for their part, are rumored to be very fond of Dave Clark, though one can’t help but question how high their standards are given the company they’ve kept in the past, let alone their choosing of each other for marriage!

The last problem vexing Princess Beatrice of York is the long standing rumor that she, like her mother, suffers from a longterm eating disorder. The near constant fluctuations in her dress size are testimony to that. Once again, her mother, whose tacky shallowness, pathological insecurity and superficial values are issues that she’s admitted to in her memoir, My Story and has repeatedly, oh so publicly, and still unsuccessfully sought treatment for, seems to have negatively influenced this aspect of her daughter’s personality. Beatrice isn’t exactly a traditional beauty, her huge eyes look as if they belong on a Japanese anime character, and she is a naturally big boned, large framed young woman who appears more than a little awkward in public, especially when contrasted to her conventionally elegant, rail thin cousin-in-law, the Duchess of Cambridge. It’s also long been rumored that the Duchess hasn’t helped the situation by delighting in making fun of Beatrice behind closed doors. The author can’t confirm if the rumor concerning Her Royal Highness’ body dysmorphia is true, but if it is, it certainly goes a long way in explaining why Beatrice just can’t seem to get her s**t together.

When contemplating the alleged travails of Princess Beatrice, one can’t help but compare her to her little sister, Princess Eugenie. The author and Her Royal Highness reside in the same city, travel in similar social circles, and have a handful of social friends in common. They’ve all reported the same synopsis of her character back to the author, that she’s an intelligent, professional, ordinary young woman whose comfortable with who she is, and doesn’t desire a higher public profile than what she has. In essence, she’s the polar opposite of her parents and older sister. Perhaps it’s best that Princess Beatrice move to New York and stay as close to her more mature, more well adjusted sibling as possible. Hopefully Eugenie can show her through personal example that life is better when one doesn’t try so hard to reach for a brass ring that’s clearly unattainable. Such striving certainly hasn’t made either of their parents happier people!